Well, this isn’t ranch dressing in a keg, but it’s still somewhat alarming: Papa John’s, America’s No. 3 pizza chain, will sell its classic garlic sauce — the stuff that usually comes in small cups with your pizza — in gallon-sized jugs. Granted, because the Papa knows how to show some restraint, the jugs are available via Twitter in limited quantities:
The jugs cost $20, and you can order them today by sending @PapaJohns a tweet containing the pizza emoji and the hashtag #GarlicSauce. You’ll also need to live in one of the ten participating U.S. cities. That list includes Manhattan (you’re SOL, Brooklynites), Cincinnati, Columbus, Dallas, Indianapolis, Chicago, Los Angeles, Nashville, Atlanta, and Louisville. Per the promo’s fine print, you’ll want to move quick since just 100 jugs are available. (Or 200 in Chicago and 300 in L.A.)
You may or may not remember that last year Papa John’s announced the Garlic Gallon — a jug of “128 fluid ounces of golden, garlicky bliss” that you could buy for the bargain price of $9.99:
Since it was immediately apparent that this was an April Fools’ tweet, the effect was mostly just to bum out customers. The chain claims that it rethought things after seeing such “overwhelming demand from Papa John’s fans,” so here we are now, living in a world where real Garlic Gallons exist. Joke’s really on those fans, though: same exact jug as 2017, only the price has doubled to $20.
America: You were fun while you lasted.